The ink is dry on the deal: my long-awaited memoirs, “The Vulva Dialogues”, will be published in the fall of 2009. But that’s not all. Hollywood does not let a story as intrigueing and captivating as mine go unnoticed. The are going to begin filming as I write. It’s never been done before. I’m currently holed up in a suite at a 5-star resort (the location of which I cannot disclose) so that I might focus on the telling of my tales, reliving each extraordinary detail as I recall it.
Apparently Angelina Jolie and Uma Thurman are both frothing at the mouth to star in the film version. Though I am flattered, I cannot say the feeling is mutual in either case.
Put another way: Over My Dead Body. Mother Earth Jolie still has not returned my Kunikane (I mean really, is it a good idea to have that around with so many children running loose?). As for Ms. Thurman, well there’s really nothing I can say here until the matter of the confidentiality clause (the one she signed, not me!) is resolved.
I’m getting my first taste of fame. I was assigned a bodyguard. And an agent. They even offered a personal trainer — which I thought a tad absurd. What next? It’s a whole new chapter and I’m very excited to see what the future holds. Do stay tuned…