Monthly Archives: January 2009

James “Quantum of Lame” Bond






HOW WE MET: Freshman year, ITSOA (Int’l Top Secret Operative Academy). I kicked his ass in underwater sniper techniques. Let’s just say he was easily distracted. MOST ANNOYING HABIT: Talks in his sleep. DIRTY LITTLE SECRET: Fat farm when he … Continue reading






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The Amazing Lara “I’ll Call” Croft






HOW WE MET: Spy Spa Retreat MOST ANNOYING HABIT: Says “I’ll call you”, then never calls. DIRTY LITTLE SECRET: Bed covered with cuddly stuffed animals. SURPRISING FACT: Needier than you’d think.






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Jason, “The Bourne Boob”






HOW WE MET: We had a hit together, both of us stationed on a tightrope. He was trying to impress me and slipped. I caught him. He thanked me. Over and over. All night long. He couldn’t stop thanking me. … Continue reading






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Ethan “Runt” Hunt






HOW WE MET: Pure coincidence: a fenderbender in Monaco. Best part: he was with his then-fiance. MOST ANNOYING HABIT: Talks with his mouth full. DIRTY LITTLE SECRET: Wears a girdle (but only under his tux). SURPRISING FACT: Makes homemade ice … Continue reading






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Killing Time (when I’m not killing evil)






Some people restore and revitalize by purging their bodies of toxins. I do so by purging my body of adrenaline. You might be surprised how much adrelaline my body can secrete. I suppose it’s why I’m so good at what … Continue reading






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Stuck in Stockholm






At a time when so many people are unemployed, I should not be complaining about my workload. I’m fortunate to have a lucrative, exciting career that allows me to travel the world and meet the most intriguing people  and attend … Continue reading






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What is this “My Adultland”?






Apparently I have a doppleganger in San Francisco. It’s been pointed out to me that if you visit myadultland.com, you can step inside the quaint life of someone who bears a remarkable resemblance to yours truly. I’ll have to look her up … Continue reading






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