The Final Session of Sibling Psychotherapy

Viva, making another memorable exit.

Here’s one chapter I’m more than happy to see come to a close: my stupid sister Viva and I had our final session of sibling psychotherapy. Not because we have “Healed Our Shared Wound” or “Built a Bridge of Love” nor any other of the lamebrained goals Tak Ishii set for us.

It’s because he’s sueing us (and ARDOR) if Viva ever comes within 100 yards of him. My two new favorite words: Restraining Order.

Really Tak, what is the point?

Tak wanted us to do the impossible: a Trust Exercise. You’ve seen it before, where one person falls backward, the other catches them in their arms. I tried telling him it was a huge mistake, but Dr. 100%-Success-Rate wouldn’t believe me.

The first half was fine. I caught Viva. All 98 pounds of her. But darling you don’t think I was going to trust her to do that same, do you? I mean, the girl has the attention span of a fruitfly. And I cannot afford injury right now, as we’re about to go into our busy season at ARDOR. Many terrorists get restless at summer’s end for some reason. It’s the oddest thing. Some liken it to that back-to-school melancholy of youth, though it’s been my experience that most terrorists are not highly educated (formally, that is). But I digress…

Tak thought I was greatly underestimating Viva. So to show me a thing or two, he stepped in, awaiting her to catch him. And of course, at the exact moment he was falling backward, Little Miss Popular got a text message. Priorities, priorities!

He crashed into his $12,000 mother of pearl inlaid glass sculpture. He got a concussion and was hospitalized overnight. Oh, and the blood from that gash!

The good news is my time is now my own again, so that I may focus on what is important. World Peace. As for Viva, I’ve no idea. She was ordered by the state of California to stay away until after Fleet Week is over, as a result of that “performance” she put on for the Blue Angels last year (the one that shut down the Golden Gate Bridge for seven hours). I pray this time she’s learned. But I sense otherwise.