Category Archives: An Agent’s Downtime

Perhaps more than anyone, a Class-A Operative need to relax and unwind more than anyone.

Recon and Recharge!






When I’m between assignments, nothing refreshes the mind and the body quite like a getaway to a peaceful, remote, unknown to the FAA spot. Being an elite international peacekeeping agent means I’ve greater access to such locations than most people … Continue reading






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Dinner with Wills & Kate… at a price.






James “Quantum of Lame” Bond did in fact learn that I’m in town, thanks to my stupid sister Viva’s Twitterthumbs. But I really can’t complain darling: he needs a date for his dinner with Wills & Kate, and I’ve not … Continue reading






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Stood Up — Thank God!






Darling, you’ve no idea how relieved I was when Lara “Empress Of The Universe” Croft had to cancel our coffee date at the last minute because (big surprise) she couldn’t find a sitter for her global collection of moppets. I’m … Continue reading






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Drive, darling. Drive!






My stupid sister Viva is under house arrest –in my Malibu house, yet! — because of some ridiculous shenanigans over the Memorial Day weekend. Which means I needed to get as far away as possible before I get arrested for … Continue reading






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My Thanksgiving Tryst Ends With A Search Party. I Never Did Care Much For Holidays.






Six hours, and search & rescue still can’t pry him out of that crevice… I feel just awful, darling. Well, somewhat awful. James “Quantum of Lame” Bond invited me to his remote winter retreat for a holiday tryst, for old … Continue reading






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Everyone Needs A Break, Darling.






When my highly trained (and surprisingly accurate) motion-detecting dachshunds indicate that they need a break from work, I find that nothing recharges their batteries quite like a relaxing game of fetch.






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Debriefing On Spy Spa Retreat; or Why I Stopped Socializing With Colleagues






I really need to make friends outside of my Elite Special Agent / International Spy Circles. It’s far too small a world, and It’s becoming quite a bore, as a recent annual conclave at the Spy Spa Retreat proved. Why … Continue reading






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My Best-Kept Beauty Secret: A little R&R!






I’ve given up trying to keep track of how often I hear, “Vulva, you’re always so upbeat and energetic. What keeps you going?” It’s no big surprise: Happiness. But of course, one cannot will genuine happiness. It must come from … Continue reading






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An almost perfect spring day in Paris






I spent the weekend in Paris, sort-of a working holiday. A chance to catch up with my dear darling friend Yves (he is so much fun to shop with!), as well as test a new gadget from our weapons department: … Continue reading






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Killing Time (when I’m not killing evil)






Some people restore and revitalize by purging their bodies of toxins. I do so by purging my body of adrenaline. You might be surprised how much adrelaline my body can secrete. I suppose it’s why I’m so good at what … Continue reading






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