Rule Number One: No Photographs!
I was so close to finally capturing that one creature that has managed to evade my clutches, The Silver Fox.
I picked up on his hypnotic scent at Latitude: 37°46′42.211″N Longitude: 122°23′22.052″ (quelle surprise!), and followed him to the very place where we’d met. Old habits die hard, darling.
It would be generous on my part to say he was “spying”. Either he wasn’t even trying or he’s seriously lost his touch — and I personally hope that is not the case. There he was, shamelessly circling the Mrs. Robinson’s Society. At least he still has exquisite taste, I’ll give him that. Frankly he’s lucky I spotted him before they did — those ladies suffer neither fools nor foxes!
And so I whisked him off, somewhere more private where I could give him a refresher course in the Art of Discretion. I look forward to monitoring his progress.
Posted 1 year, 6 months ago at 3:10 pm. Add a comment
Substantial reward offered for anyone with knowledge of who might have taken this photo of yours truly and the head of the MRS.
What started with good vibrations has ended in pure frustration.
A clandestine meeting between yours truly the head of the MRS has raised alarms, since apparently news of our collaboration was leaked. Details of the mission (and subsequent breach) cannot be detailed at this time. Both ARDOR and the MRS are on high alert. Please notify Twilite Fontanelle if you have any news about this alarming development. Security status: Code Red.
Perhaps it’s a coincidence, but Interpol reports that my Stupid Sister Viva is back in the states. Apparently my ex, James “Quantum of Lame” Bond got her past customs. If she had anything to do with this, then they’re both walking targets in my book.
Posted 2 years, 3 months ago at 12:43 am. Add a comment
Celebrating another successful joint mission. (L to R: Mrs. L. Robinson, Mrs. D. Robinson, Mrs. M. Robinson, Mrs. R. Robinson, and yours truly)
The past few months have been spent training Empress Of The Universe Angeline Jolie for her latest part as a world-class spy in the film Salt. Much to my chagrin. I’m over it. But apparently they could find no one else willing to work in her rarefied world, plus she begged me. And ultimately they offered me such an obscene sum to take the assignment, I acquiesced. Honestly I do not know why she went into acting, if all she wants to do is act like a spy — not to say she’s up for the job. Far from it. For starters, she would need to stop expanding her Colony Of Adorable Offspring. But I digress…
With a week off during production so that she may fly off to the middle east to adopt yet another camp of refugees, I found myself with a little down time. But that didn’t last long. I got a call from my favorite ladies in San Francisco, The Mrs. Robinson Society (MRS). You know them as a movable social club, a think-tank for sophisticated ladies of a certain ilk. But I know them as so much more. Whenever I need a team that can mount any hurdle (no matter how large), dominate any adversary, render useless any weapon — you get the idea — I call The MRS. These ladies can penetrate any wall you might erect, conquer any obstacle you might thrust at them… oops, there I go again.
When it was discovered that one of their “Benjamins” had gone rogue (being indiscreet was the least of his crimes), they needed an outside source to handle the matter, shall we say. And no one enjoys disciplining a wayward lad more than yours truly.
Checking with Mrs. Robinson: "How severe a lesson would you like me to teach young Benjamin?"
The AK-47 was just a scare tactic, darling! You know I don’t need arms to get the job done. My impressive weapon collection is exclusively for recreational activities these days. Knives being my favorite. That’s one thing Goddess Jolie and I have in common. Credit where credit’s due: she’s pretty good with a MAK7-WB.
Back on the set tomorrow. One bit of good news — I hope: I’ve found something to occupy my stupid sister Viva for a while: she’s going to be nanny to Brangelina’s brood. Of course not top nanny, darling! You don’t think I’m crazy, do you! She will be supervised by the other five (one for every moppet). But it’ll be something new for her. And honestly: I’ve met the other five nannies. Viva will suffer dearly if she tries to get away with anything at all. I mean it, those women make me nervous. I just wish I could be a fly on the wall her first day…
Posted 2 years, 7 months ago at 8:55 am. 1 comment
It would be generous on my part to say he was “spying”. Either he wasn’t even trying or he’s seriously lost his touch — and I personally hope that is not the case. There he was, shamelessly circling the Mrs. Robinson’s Society. At least he still has exquisite taste, I’ll give him that. Frankly he’s lucky I spotted him before they did — those ladies suffer neither fools nor foxes!
