The Adventures of Vulva Fervor

High Alert…

The only clue at the scene: US Military smoke bomb from Roswell, NM. I didn't even know they still made them.

Imagine my relief when I found RANCOR agent known as “The Beagle” alive — though just barely. He’s called The Beagle because of his extraordinary sense of smell. Back when were just starting out (in Paris), both taking a course in Urban Planning & Design and Sniper Strategy,  he used to bring me the most extraordinary perfumes from around the world!  We were so young. There was this one time, he nearly got arrested trying to

…I’m sorry, I got a little off-topic. The good news he’s going to be 100% — as are his olfactories.

But this is part of a much larger and far more serious problem. Several agents from both ARDOR and rival agency RANCOR have been kidnapped. Gone without a trace. Even I am required to have a bodyguard now, which is almost surreal. The Beagle is the first to be located (after much hard work on the part of Yours Truly). We’re still searching for the others and hopefully today’s breakthrough will shed some light…

An almost perfect spring day in Paris

It's a tradition when Yves and I are together, the red berets.

I spent the weekend in Paris, sort-of a working holiday. A chance to catch up with my dear darling friend Yves (he is so much fun to shop with!), as well as test a new gadget from our weapons department: a machine that samples DNA of everyone within 50 yards. And it has a species setting, so you can choose the DNA sampling size that’s right for your needs. We thought we’d try it out at the Centre Pompidou (a modern art museum). It blended nicely with their current exhibit. And.. it worked beautifully!

The only downside of the whole weekend: Jimmy “Quantum of Needy” Bond won’t stop texting me. And I refuse to change my number again. Even if I did, He’d always be able to get it again. If only he could get a life as easily.