- Six hours, and search & rescue still can’t pry him out of that crevice…
I feel just awful, darling. Well, somewhat awful. James “Quantum of Lame” Bond invited me to his remote winter retreat for a holiday tryst, for old time’s sake (with the promise he would drop the ridiculous double entendres once and for all). We dined, we drank, we enjoyed our traditional midnight Indian wrestle on the bluff… and then he asked if I wanted to see his Mighty Yule Log. I’m ashamed to say despite my elite training, I lost control — and hurled him off the cliff. Maybe this time he’ll get the message.