Not-so Brave New World.

Have some dignity, RANCOR!

Have some dignity, RANCOR!

This time, RANCOR has gone too far.

Personally, I think my time is much better spent fighting real crime and threats to world peace. But it’s hard to find time for that when one walks out one’s door, only to find a rookie from ARDOR rival RANCOR rummaging through the rubbish bin of yours truly!

I don’t know if the wayward agent was doing so on official business, or was snooping for something a more personal effect, shall we say. Now that my life story is being made into a blockbuster feature film, every day I find my privacy more and more falling by the wayside.

And now that ARDOR has instilled a “no arms” policy in hopes of setting a peaceful example for the rest of the world, I couldn’t eliminate the pest the good old-fashioned way. “Gathering Evidence” is the method of choice now. The new formula goes like this:

1. Gather Evidence: videotape, audio recording, etc.

2. Use said evidence as a tool of persuasion, if you will. For example “We will broadcast this, unless you agree to … ” I think you get the idea. This is actually the fun part. Watching them squirm.

3. The end result being prevention. The perp will never, ever, want to be in that hotseat ever again.

But I must confess, I do wax nostalgic for the good old days, when problems were deleted at the source, no one complained about not having enough (evidence) storage space, and one could blows off a little steam throughout the day — all while making the world a safer place. But these are different times in which we live. Times that call for extreme measures.

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