Dinner with Wills & Kate… at a price.

I needed a dress long enough to conceal my thigh-wrap chord, just in case some fast-roping is required. One never knows how these things end..

I needed a dress long enough to conceal my thigh-wrap chord, just in case some fast-roping is required. One never knows how these things end.

James “Quantum of Lame” Bond did in fact learn that I’m in town, thanks to my stupid sister Viva’s Twitterthumbs. But I really can’t complain darling: he needs a date for his dinner with Wills & Kate, and I’ve not seen them since the weddin

g (the night of which history was made, when my stupid sister Viva and Pippa went to a club with the groomsmen and put on a pas de deux pole dance).

Of course this means I’ll need something fabulous to wear! Stella is so busy these days she couldn’t actually meet and consult on a gown, so she set aside her selections and told me to send her snapshots. She chose the orange sherbet one-shoulder one (I couldn’t agree more), and insisted we meet for a cocktail after my dinner.

If James makes even one of his tired and absurd double entendres on our date, I will not be responsible for my actions, darling.

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