James “Quantum of Lame” Bond did in fact learn that I’m in town, thanks to my stupid sister Viva’s Twitterthumbs. But I really can’t complain darling: he needs a date for his dinner with Wills & Kate, and I’ve not seen them since the weddin
g (the night of which history was made, when my stupid sister Viva and Pippa went to a club with the groomsmen and put on a pas de deux pole dance).
Of course this means I’ll need something fabulous to wear! Stella is so busy these days she couldn’t actually meet and consult on a gown, so she set aside her selections and told me to send her snapshots. She chose the orange sherbet one-shoulder one (I couldn’t agree more), and insisted we meet for a cocktail after my dinner.
If James makes even one of his tired and absurd double entendres on our date, I will not be responsible for my actions, darling.