A Better Complexion Via Martinis

I can’t tell you how many times people stop me to say “Vulva, you always look so radiant. How do you do it?”

While a rigorous physical regime helps keep my skin aglow, sometimes even I need a little extra help. Here’s a tip that works for me, and it fits seamlessly in my on-the-go lifestyle:

Next time you find yourself out on the town and realize your skin looks a little tired, order a vodka martini, up, with a twist. The twist is key. The alcohol in the vodka will tighten and refresh pores, the chill from the ice will invigorate, bringing blood to the surface and give a healthy glow, the the acid in the twist acts as a sort-of “fruit peel”, getting rid of dry dead surface cells to reveal fresh skin beneath the surface.

But mystery is of the element. Do not perform the Martini Quik-Lift publicly. Discreetly excuse yourself to the Ladies Lounge — you might want to pack your own cotton pads (cotton balls are too messy). Dip into the martini, blot,  and gently sweep over the visage when there are no witnesses present.

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Parakalo, Greece!

To thank the Agency for it’s part in helping eliminate one of Greece’s most deadly terrorist sleeper cells, their ambassador gave us the 14 goats that were vital for making this mission a success. So now we have 14 goats. That only respond to orders in Greek.

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This Brings Back Memories.

With Special Agent “Miguel” (not his real name) in St. Barts. He was THE BEST underwater assassin EVER! Known in some circles as “The Clown”, he is no longer with us. Sadly, he went down in the Cirque du Soleil “Zumanity” job in Las Vegas this past summer.

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The Beginning Of An Enchanted Evening.

At a Special Agent Mix & Mingle at the home of “Matchmaker to the Spies” Twlighta Fontanella (pictured, center) in London.

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A Cause To Celebrate.

Graduation day: So proud of Agent Barbie Braun (not her real name) for graduating top of her class in Advanced Sniper Techniques in Kiev.

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Ah, Paris!

One of the few pictures where Viva's not passed out.

With my stupid sister Viva and my dear, darling Yves at his birthday bash in Paris.

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A Special Friend.

Special Agent “Drillbit Kit” (that’s just his nickname), at my Pied a Terre in Hong Kong. I like to think I taught him everything he knows

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Finally — An Actual Holiday Off.

LOVE Halloween! It’s the 1 day of the year “The Baboon” makes an appearance. He wears that mask year-round, due to a fellow agent’s clumsiness during a chemical weapons demo. Personally, I think the mask is hot.

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Breach! Breach!

Where the gang used to have coffee everymorning. Until they started advertising the fact.

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Cover Blown!

Christ, not again. Everytime I find a place I think won’t blow my cover, they go tell tell the world. Thanks alot, Bruno!

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