Tag Archives: Lara Croft

God save the queen, because I’m tired of doing so, darling!

I was hoping my time on this side of the pond would be pure R&R, enjoying the games as Wills & Kate’s guest. Not the case, darling! Turns out there’s been a threat against the queen’s life, and yours truly … Continue reading

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Stood Up — Thank God!

Darling, you’ve no idea how relieved I was when Lara “Empress Of The Universe” Croft had to cancel our coffee date at the last minute because (big surprise) she couldn’t find a sitter for her global collection of moppets. I’m … Continue reading

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“Viva Hearts Tiger!”

Yes darling, “Viva Hearts Tiger!” That is the text message I received. My stupid sister Viva meant to send it to her new boyfriend. The one she met recently while she’s in treatment (again) for sex addiction. Instead, she sent … Continue reading

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Debriefing On Spy Spa Retreat; or Why I Stopped Socializing With Colleagues

I really need to make friends outside of my Elite Special Agent / International Spy Circles. It’s far too small a world, and It’s becoming quite a bore, as a recent annual conclave at the Spy Spa Retreat proved. Why … Continue reading

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The Amazing Lara “I’ll Call” Croft

HOW WE MET: Spy Spa Retreat MOST ANNOYING HABIT: Says “I’ll call you”, then never calls. DIRTY LITTLE SECRET: Bed covered with cuddly stuffed animals. SURPRISING FACT: Needier than you’d think.

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