Author Archives: vulvafervor

My Latest Undercover Assignment

Infiltrating a Somali pirate training facility. I suspect my greatest challenge on this one will be “blending.”

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“Viva Hearts Tiger!”

Yes darling, “Viva Hearts Tiger!” That is the text message I received. My stupid sister Viva meant to send it to her new boyfriend. The one she met recently while she’s in treatment (again) for sex addiction. Instead, she sent … Continue reading

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Return Of The Gypsy!

Darling please forgive my extended absence.¬† I was on a top, top, top secret mission, as we got word that my fellow ARDOR agent (and former Solid Gold Dancer) “The Gypsy” might still be alive! It was believed that she’d … Continue reading

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Debriefing On Spy Spa Retreat; or Why I Stopped Socializing With Colleagues

I really need to make friends outside of my Elite Special Agent / International Spy Circles. It’s far too small a world, and It’s becoming quite a bore, as a recent annual conclave at the Spy Spa Retreat proved. Why … Continue reading

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Mole alert! Abort joint mission between ARDOR and MRS!

What started with good vibrations has ended in pure frustration. A clandestine meeting between yours truly the head of the MRS has raised alarms, since apparently news of our collaboration was leaked. Details of the mission (and subsequent breach) cannot … Continue reading

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Operation: Litcrawl (a/k/a “Litquake”) or let’s get “Dirty In The Alley”, darling!

Location: Clarion Alley, to be exact (October 17, 2009, 18:00 PST) for Operation: Litcrawl, as part of Litquake. Members of the Mrs Robinson’s Society will be on hand to provide impossibly stylish security detail (and secure the perimeter so there … Continue reading

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Bolivian Oblivion

When ARDOR informed me they’d intercepted “intelligence” (the occasional irony of that word never ceases to amuse me) that RANCOR had a factory in Bolivia that was manufacturing a knock-off H1N1 vaccination that was about to hit the international black … Continue reading

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The Final Session of Sibling Psychotherapy

Here’s one chapter I’m more than happy to see come to a close: my stupid sister Viva and I had our final session of sibling psychotherapy. Not because we have “Healed Our Shared Wound” or “Built a Bridge of Love” … Continue reading

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Not-so Brave New World.

This time, RANCOR has gone too far. Personally, I think my time is much better spent fighting real crime and threats to world peace. But it’s hard to find time for that when one walks out one’s door, only to … Continue reading

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A new category of torture for the CIA: psychotherapy with my stupid sister Viva.

All of Tak’s efforts at bringing closer together¬† Viva “call me VFer” (don’t ask) and yours truly are beginning to feel like a lesson in futility (from this point known as an “LFu” — much easier for VFer to pronounce). … Continue reading

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