Author Archives: vulvafervor
They said it couldn’t be done: Peace in the Middle East!
Of course it couldn’t be done — until yours truly took a swing at it and brokered peace as only I can. I normally do not bring work home with me, but this was so important, I had to take … Continue reading
I’ve been kidnapped. And I am so embarrassed.
And I have no one to blame but myself. I’m a highly-trained elite agent. It’s my job to have nerves of steel and not be distracted and let my guard down enough to get KIDNAPPED. Even if the cause is … Continue reading
High Alert…
Imagine my relief when I found RANCOR agent known as “The Beagle” alive — though just barely. He’s called The Beagle because of his extraordinary sense of smell. Back when were just starting out (in Paris), both taking a course … Continue reading
Meet my stupid sister Viva.
Imagine my delight when our weapons department came up with its latest stroke of genius: a mirror that wipes out short term memory! They asked me to take it home for a few days “live with it, test it out.” … Continue reading
An almost perfect spring day in Paris
I spent the weekend in Paris, sort-of a working holiday. A chance to catch up with my dear darling friend Yves (he is so much fun to shop with!), as well as test a new gadget from our weapons department: … Continue reading
My Favorite Home Movie
If you want to see where I get it, take a look. It’s mom, in her prime — she had zero tolerance for guests who overstay their welcome. She was such fun. I really miss her.
Blackmail!
It appears I’m under surveillance. An envelope containing a series of photographs was recently sent to A.R.D.O.R. — along with some, um, “demands”. I can only reproduce this one because the others reveal a target that I had under serveillance … Continue reading
James “Quantum of Lame” Bond
HOW WE MET: Freshman year, ITSOA (Int’l Top Secret Operative Academy). I kicked his ass in underwater sniper techniques. Let’s just say he was easily distracted. MOST ANNOYING HABIT: Talks in his sleep. DIRTY LITTLE SECRET: Fat farm when he … Continue reading
The Amazing Lara “I’ll Call” Croft
HOW WE MET: Spy Spa Retreat MOST ANNOYING HABIT: Says “I’ll call you”, then never calls. DIRTY LITTLE SECRET: Bed covered with cuddly stuffed animals. SURPRISING FACT: Needier than you’d think.
Jason, “The Bourne Boob”
HOW WE MET: We had a hit together, both of us stationed on a tightrope. He was trying to impress me and slipped. I caught him. He thanked me. Over and over. All night long. He couldn’t stop thanking me. … Continue reading